My Grandma had this rare disease that affected her eye sight, she was officially blind by 38...then she knew her children and grandchildren by their smell...
She had 6 sons and 20 grandchildren. 3 of her sons died of a sudden heart attack..she was present in their funerals trying to inhale goodbye their smells for the last time..She never cried...years passed..she was still the same grandma, but heavily creased by age!
She was getting very old but she could still recognize all of us by the code of smells she tagged each of us with..among the 20 of us, some were more important than the others..Me the youngest of all and my oldest cousin who started smoking from the age of 14!
When I was only 1 year old, she hugged me tightly and that was when I peed on her! She assigned that smell to my contact!!
We grew up, we got older, we continued our weekly visiting her.
She used to cuddle each of us in turn, touching our faces with her fragile hands, kissing us on the forehead and distinguishing us by our smell..Once she slapped my older cousin and said: you are too young to smoke, son! does your dad know this? Cousin said: he is dead granny..
I still remember her never ending pause...
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Years passed, I got into a good university, changed my city then my country, wore Christian Dior and never smelt like pee anymore! but never got the chance to visit her again.
On her 93rd birthday she decided the world was too cheap to waste her breath in..My father called me and said she was on her deathbed and all of the remaining relatives were gathering around her..I was at work but told my dad as soon as I finish my job I will run home and get on my Skype to see her and dad promised to provide a laptop and Skype back..
I was working extra hours that day and was hoping she'd hold on to life until I get back home.
On the way back home I practiced all the lovely words I wanted to tell her all these years, called dad on Skype. The video opened and there she was having this faint smile on her face...and then it was this stupid low speed internet they had that kept freezing up...
Dad?
-yeah?
The video keeps freezing..
-....
Grandma's image keeps freezing..
- Well...She is frozen...she is gone...
.
Sshe was gone...gone to the world of scents...gone to her personal milky way...gone to paradise..
and I was left thinking if there is anything worse in this world than not being able to tell those fucking few words that are left to the one you loved... I can actually still see the words forming into little bubbles and floating above my head...
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